Setting Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are vital to the success of all relationships. From business partners to best friends, parents to romantic partners, healthy boundaries are needed to establish a border between where you end and another person begins. Boundaries are used to establish limits that protect your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. When boundaries are too fluid (or non-existent) you may find yourself drained by giving more of yourself (emotional or financially) than you are able to spare. If you are the type of person who can not say no to others’ requests, or feel terribly guilty when doing so; you may have weak or non-existent boundaries. Similarly, when boundaries are too rigid, you may find yourself closed off from others, unable to establish close and meaningful relationships. If you find yourself unable to trust others, or unwilling to share yourself in a healthy and moderate way; your boundaries may be too rigid.

Loose boundaries are a recipe for drama, and rigid boundaries are a recipe for loneliness. Our goal is to find a middle ground in establishing healthy boundaries that serve our highest good and our greatest wellness. Here are a few things to consider when embarking on a journey to set healthy boundaries for yourself and your life:

• It is OK to say no to others’ requests. Take time to consider the request before answering. Calculate the risks to yourself and others. If you find the sacrifice is too great, you will know you have the right to say no.
• Remember to take time out for yourself. There are times when we must give more of ourselves than we think we can. For example, a loved one may fall ill and need your support, or your spouse may be laid off and depend on you to pull the family through hard financial times. Still, it is important that you take at least a few moments out of every day to pamper yourself.  Try a 5 minute morning meditation, or a brisk 10 minute walk in the evening, or take a relaxing 20 minute bath before bed. Find a routine that works for you and stick to it!
• Seek professional or spiritual counseling, and/or read a few articles or books on creating healthy boundaries. If you feel a lack of healthy boundaries is significantly impacting your life, I highly recommend consulting an expert. It never hurts to seek the guidance of a relationship specialist. Do a Google search for books on boundaries, or for relationship counselors in your area.

Make your own “Boundary Bag” talisman

Directions: Mix two or more of the following stones, and two or more of the following herbs in a small red pouch. Hold the talisman in your hands and speak your intention in creating this “Boundary Bag”. Keep the talisman in your pocket or wear it around your neck whenever you need a boost of confidence, self-love, courage, protection, energy, and power.

Stones: Lapis Lazuli, Celestite, Aquamarine, Turquoise, Garnet, Blue Tiger Eye, Gold Tiger Eye, Blue Calcite, Labradorite

Herbs: Dragon’s Blood, Rosemary, Coriander Seed, Cardamon, Juniper Berry, Hibiscus

Tip: Add a piece of clear Quartz Crystal, and a leaf of White Sage to the “Boundary Bag” to keep your talisman cleansed and purified.